Sunday Musings: "Forever Young... Or Nah."

In light of my sister entering that all-too-crucial time in her life where college acceptance letters begin piling up in the mailbox, I realize that my ten year high school reunion is fast approaching.

I'm not attending, of course.

But, it's there. Lingering. Like any song from Frozen. Playing itself over relentlessly in your head.

In the words of Sally Albright, "You can't take it back. It's already out there."

Now, as I live by the holy book of "When Harry Met Sally" and choose to quote it whenever I see fit, relative or amusing... I have two choices here. I can either be Sally Albright and irrationally writhe in the idea that I'm 27 years old and I'm pudgier than I once was and a lot more cynical and finally past my goal of marrying Justin Timberlake and there's no going back because "it is already out there..."

OR, I can take the far more casual, sarcastic, and denial-furthering Harry Burns approach:

"Oh geez. Call the cops it's already out there!"

I'll be fine. 

I'll be swell. I'll be great. Okay?? I'm still hip! I know allllll about "selfies" and "or nah" and the now deceased "Flappy Birds." OKAY?! And knock wood, knock SO much wood: I still haven't grown my first gray hair. I know that time is fast approaching...

So, here's a video for all of you beautifully aging people looking back on your past. It's basically beyond genius.

 

Playing Ketchup: Episode Five Billion & Two

You know that ole saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater?" (Well, far be it for me to call it, "old." I'm sure this expression came around sometime in the fifties by angry mothers wagging their fingers at their daughters' wrong-doing ex-beaus. Or perhaps it came around in the eighties when women became all shoulder-pad-y and empowered and weren't standing for it anymore. Or perhaps I'm wrong all together and Shakespeare really has coined every phrase in the book. But, I digress.) 

Let me clarify, I have never been, am in no way, and will never be: a cheater (Unless you count peaking in the back of the Sudoku book when I've screwed up a box. I've got to stop using ink pens instead of pencils).

The fact of the matter is, I am an inconsistent blogger. I really hit my stride in June and July of last year as far as frequent posting was concerned. But, October hit and I was lost in the bowels of work land. December had a faint glimpse of Christmas cheery posts. January rolled around with fist-clenched determination... which lasted approximately four days. February saw one measly blip on the radar. And now, here we are. On the brink of April with- drumroll, please- FIVE whole blog entries in 2014. Pathetic? Oh yes. 

So, here I am. Admitting my faults, half-apologetically.

Once an inconsistent blogger, always an inconsistent blogger.

Thusly begins my new series: "Playing Ketchup." A practical way for me to let you know that I probably won't be here every day, but goshdarnit, I'll try. And on the (likely) chance that I fade away for a week or two, I promise to catch you up upon my return. Because I know you, kind stranger, have been hanging on that cliff to find out what I've been up to just as much as I've been starving for Orange Is The New Black: Season 2 to start up. 

Hi there. How have you been? It's nice to be around these parts.

(... that's what she said).

The Daily Prompt: The Tubular, Totally Awesome, Phat, Bomb Diggety Truth About Fads

In an effort to not let my blog die another slow, sad, dusty death of disregard, I have decided to succumb to the Daily Post's blog prompts.

I am quickly reminded of sixth grade essay-writing periods where we graduated from pencil to (oh my goodness! how exciting! This means I'm an ADULT now!) black ink and were timed. And graded. And judged. And oddly enough, that comforts me. The big, black cyber abyss of "I don't know what to write about today" is scary. Sometimes, you need a much more successful and popular blog to hold your shaky little hand along the way.

Today's subject of interest? Fads. Trends. The ole bandwagon.

What I love about fads is that hating on them is just about as popular as submitting yourself to them.
i.e. "Oh my gosh, One Direction is sooooo cute!" versus "Oh my gosh, I hate that One Direction band." You've heard both of these statements. Frequently. And you may have even said both of these statements (Confession: I have. In reverse order, at that. And I'm a 27 years old adult woman. Dear God).

I am the poster child of both loving and hating on the trends.

So, let us now take a look back in "Candace's Love/ Hate Relationship With Fads" history book.

1991: Hermit crabs? Never had one.

1992: Obsessed with New Kids on the Block? Absolutely.

1993: Permed hair?  Did it.

1994: Interested in Beanie Babies? No. I didn't get it. Fad denied!

1994: Leggings with stirrups paired with jingle bell-y sweatshirts? Yup. That happened.

1995: Pogs? Nope. Not into it. Lava lamps? Had one.

1996: Dressing like a Spice Girl and gesturing a peace sign for every photo taken of me? I mean, yes. That occurred.

1996: Esteemed advocate of D.A.R.E? Si.

1997: Into the yin-yang symbol? Totes. WWJD Bracelet? Had about twelve.

1997: Perpetually distracted by my Tamagotchi that eventually died in a mound of its own poo due to general 11-year-old negligence? Affirmative.

1998: Obsessed with Britney Spears and *NSYNC and sooooo over the Spice Girls? Completely.

1999: Awkwardly in love with hearing "You've Got Mail!" every time I logged into AOL? So much.

2000: Body glitter and butterfly clips? Yeah, girl!

2001: Still obsessed with Britney Spears and *NSYNC? Don't judge.

2002: Old enough to desire an identity that went against the norm thus making me completely unpopular among cheerleaders, football players, and anyone else in school until I transferred to an arts school where my quirky fashion choices were embraced and accepted by all? Yes.

2004: Total thrift store addict because that's all that Urban Outfitters looks like anyway? 100%.

2004: One of the first colleges to be on Facebook? Ten years later and still going strong.

2005: Crocs? Lame and ugly. Gouchos? Lovin' it.

2006: College parties? Went. Didn't drink. May have carried around a red solo cup just to look cool.

2007: Just. Want. All. The. Harry. Potter? You've got that right.

2008: Wanting to be quirky, cute, and Indie like Ingrid Michaelson but still needing to outwardly hate on hipsters (who have replaced emo's who have replaced goths who have replaced androgynous David Bowie fans who have replaced... vampires? I don't know how I got here).

2009: Crazily into cupcakes? Yes.

2010: Can't stop watching Jersey Shore? Duh.

2011: Planning my perfect, homespun, Pinterest-inspired wedding? Correct.

2012: Totally aroused by Fifty Shades of Grey? Never read it.

2012: Hashtag: No Filter? Eff that. Filter my face all day long.

2013: Twerking, dubstep, Hunger games? I'll pass. Food blogging and food trucking and food photographing and being soooo into eating local? Well... Yes. God, that was an expensive phase.

2014: In love with sock buns, Zumba, Grumpy Cat, and Vine? Why yes. Yes, I am.

So, there you have it, kids. A remarkably (and unnecessarily) thorough rundown of my ongoing affair with the trends. And how's your day?

Playing Catch Up!

Ok. I know. I know. I know. I KNOW.

I let an entire month and one week slip between my blog fingers.

It's tragic.

But, there's been a lot happening in Candace world. Rather than go into the details, I thought I'd brief you on what you've missed (since I know all you've been doing is pining for my life details because I'm that presumptuous; sidenote: for those of you who are new here- we call that, "sarcasm"). :)

In no particular order...

• I hung out with Mickey one sweet, Fall afternoon.

• Timothy and I were Peter and Lois Griffin for Halloween. 

• The cats have been totally cute lately.

• We went to Dinosaur World. It was friggin' epic I tell you. 

• I saw real life penguins for the first time in my life and balled my eyes out. And then I met a real life SIZE penguin!

• My Spotlight Cabaret, "Silver Screen Serenades" went off without a hitch! And my husband and beautiful friend, Faith made stunning appearances. 

• Our youth academy production of "Around The World in 80 Minutes" went beautifully. So proud of our youngsters.

Did I mention that amidst all of this, Timothy and I watched the entire Breaking Bad series cover to cover? Season 1 through 6? And I am now obsessed with Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul as they might be the very best actors on the small screen right now. Just.... all of the love. 

I've missed you all and am glad to return to my little corner of the interwebs just in time for Turkey day... upon which I am working, of course. Here's to jobs and feasts and crafts and pie and the *NSYNC holiday album and festive pet costumes and warm fuzzies! Gosh, I love this time of year. :)

I Knew Earworms Were Trouble

According to Wikipedia (which is always right, always flawless, in no way wrong ever, and kids, you should definitely use it in your term papers because your teachers will totally admire and reward your diligence in the research department), an "earworm" is "a catchy piece of music that continually repeats through a person's mind after it is no longer playing."

We have all experienced the earworm.

The earworm, unlike the adorable inchworms chugging about on Sesame Street or that cute little guy in the hat and bow tie from the Busy World of Richard Scarry, is a disgusting creature and manifests itself in the most random of times and haunts you perpetually throughout the day.

My earworm as of late?

"I Knew You Were Trouble" by Taylor Swift.

It's not that I dislike this song. No, no. Lest we forget, in accordance to the never incorrect Wikipedia, "catchy" is involved. This song never seems to stop and it chases me no matter where I go.

In order to convey this to you, I have captured my earworm fate on video (even in the early morning when I'm make-up-less and sporting a side pony- that's dedication, Holmes). Condolences and nuggets of wisdom are welcome. I may even start a fund.

I Knew You Were Trouble Earworm from Candace Neal on Vimeo.

Special thanks to Michael Scott for giving me a means of expressing my anger and outrage.

My First Blog Award! The Liebster Award

The amazingly wonderful Ladawn of the equally wonderful The Daybreak Bird nominated me for the Liebster Award and I can't even thank her enough! Seriously, Miss. Can I send you a box of cookies? I've been blogging here for about three months and it feels truly heartwarming to receive the recognition. Please go read her magically delicious blog right now.

// Do you have any siblings? //
One sister and she is practically perfect in every way (Mary Poppins whaaaaat). I wanted her for Christmas for nine years of my life before she was born. She is amazing and talented and beautiful and, yes, her name is Taylor because I was dead set on marrying Jonathan Taylor Thomas when she came into this world.

// Favourite meal? //
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm a Carolina girl who married a Greek boy. Thusly, the best food for my tongue is a happy blend of our heritages. So give me a big honkin' tray of gyros, pastitsio, pita bread, Carolina barbecue, collard greens, country gravy on grits and I'm a happy gal. :)

// Why did you start a blog? //
In March of this year, I fractured my rib while flying around being a certain forgetful little blue fish in Walt Disney World's Finding Nemo The Musical. It broke my heart (among other things) and bruised my dignity. After being bedridden for weeks and in recovery for months, I fell into an anxiety disorder that my family, friends and faith cushioned with positivity and prayers. I started this blog to help me just keep swimming and use it every day to cope. It is my outlet for all things creative, quirky, frugal, and funny.

// Do you have a go-to outfit? //
My yellow button down thrift store cardigan. Not only did I wear it for my album, but I also wore it the first time I ever went to Timothy's apartment where he cooked me dinner and we played songs on the piano all night. And look where we are now three years later! Married. Happy. Employed. ... Old. I'll never let that cardigan go.

// Best book you've read recently. //
Oh, I am a sad little bookworm who would rather watch Jeopardy than crack open a novel nowadays. And I used to be such an avid reader with my Faulknerian obsessions and my quotable Don Delillo self. It's either my sick addiction with all things Apple, or my vast submission to sickening First World antics. Either way, you should re-read Roald Dahl's The Witches because it's the best book in the whole wide world.

// A pet peeve. //
People who succumb to trendy "isms." You don't actually hate the word, "moist." You don't really get that disgusted by feet. And clowns just aren't all that scary (outside the context of porcelain dolls and horror films). Come up with a new quirk already.

// Favourite movie? //
When Harry Met Sally! The romantic comedy even your husband will enjoy.

// If you could live anywhere besides where you live now, where would it be? //
In a log cabin in the Appalachian mountains or a cobblestone cottage somewhere rustic. I just want it to be cozy and Autumn all day every day.

// What is your biggest fear? //
Losing my loved ones. Death in general frightens me and I don't even like mentioning it here from fear I'll jinx myself in some awful poetic fate. Knock wood. Knock wood. Knock wood.

....Also, anyone else have a crazy fear that their jokes will fall flat? Because not being funny sounds like a horrible existence.

// How many cups of coffee do you drink a day? //
I spent the first 21 years of my life being coffee-less. And then I became a nasty awful bean-guzzling busy bee. I worked at STARBUCKS for cryin' out loud! And I've finally met this guy called Even Keel and settled for one cup in the morning and calling it a day.

// What accomplishment are you most proud of? //
As an actor? Playing Dory in Finding Nemo The Musical and mastering puppetry, flight, song, and emotion all at once. I've never felt so connected to a character I've played (which might say something about me and my inability to remember anythi- Hey look! There's a shiny thing!)

As a person? My songwriting. It's one of the few places I can stop thinking and just get in tune (ba. ha. Punny.) with myself. Check out my One Minute Songs of Wordom series where I write one minute tunes based on listener submitted words! :)

Here are the rules for receiving this award:
1. Answer the questions that the nominator sets for you, and then create 11 questions for the people you’ve tagged to answer.
2. Choose other bloggers link them in your post (must have less than 200 followers)
3. Go to their page and tell them. 

I'm nominating the crazy talented Karen and Amber and sending this back to Ladawn to answer these questions!
1. Where are you from and do you still reside there?
2. Favorite food?
3. What's your favorite hobby?
4. Favorite band or musician?
5. What's your favorite childhood memory?
6. What is your favorite holiday of the year?
7. How long have you been blogging and why'd you start?
8. What's the best vacation you've ever taken?
9. What's your most embarrassing moment?
10. What accomplishment are you most proud of?
11. Who is your best friend?