In light of my sister entering that all-too-crucial time in her life where college acceptance letters begin piling up in the mailbox, I realize that my ten year high school reunion is fast approaching.
I'm not attending, of course.
But, it's there. Lingering. Like any song from Frozen. Playing itself over relentlessly in your head.
In the words of Sally Albright, "You can't take it back. It's already out there."
Now, as I live by the holy book of "When Harry Met Sally" and choose to quote it whenever I see fit, relative or amusing... I have two choices here. I can either be Sally Albright and irrationally writhe in the idea that I'm 27 years old and I'm pudgier than I once was and a lot more cynical and finally past my goal of marrying Justin Timberlake and there's no going back because "it is already out there..."
OR, I can take the far more casual, sarcastic, and denial-furthering Harry Burns approach:
"Oh geez. Call the cops it's already out there!"
I'll be fine.
I'll be swell. I'll be great. Okay?? I'm still hip! I know allllll about "selfies" and "or nah" and the now deceased "Flappy Birds." OKAY?! And knock wood, knock SO much wood: I still haven't grown my first gray hair. I know that time is fast approaching...
So, here's a video for all of you beautifully aging people looking back on your past. It's basically beyond genius.
You know that ole saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater?" (Well, far be it for me to call it, "old." I'm sure this expression came around sometime in the fifties by angry mothers wagging their fingers at their daughters' wrong-doing ex-beaus. Or perhaps it came around in the eighties when women became all shoulder-pad-y and empowered and weren't standing for it anymore. Or perhaps I'm wrong all together and Shakespeare really has coined every phrase in the book. But, I digress.)
Let me clarify, I have never been, am in no way, and will never be: a cheater (Unless you count peaking in the back of the Sudoku book when I've screwed up a box. I've got to stop using ink pens instead of pencils).
The fact of the matter is, I am an inconsistent blogger. I really hit my stride in June and July of last year as far as frequent posting was concerned. But, October hit and I was lost in the bowels of work land. December had a faint glimpse of Christmas cheery posts. January rolled around with fist-clenched determination... which lasted approximately four days. February saw one measly blip on the radar. And now, here we are. On the brink of April with- drumroll, please- FIVE whole blog entries in 2014. Pathetic? Oh yes.
So, here I am. Admitting my faults, half-apologetically.
Once an inconsistent blogger, always an inconsistent blogger.
Thusly begins my new series: "Playing Ketchup." A practical way for me to let you know that I probably won't be here every day, but goshdarnit, I'll try. And on the (likely) chance that I fade away for a week or two, I promise to catch you up upon my return. Because I know you, kind stranger, have been hanging on that cliff to find out what I've been up to just as much as I've been starving for Orange Is The New Black: Season 2 to start up.
Hi there. How have you been? It's nice to be around these parts.
In an effort to not let my blog die another slow, sad, dusty death of disregard, I have decided to succumb to the Daily Post's blog prompts.
I am quickly reminded of sixth grade essay-writing periods where we graduated from pencil to (oh my goodness! how exciting! This means I'm an ADULT now!) black ink and were timed. And graded. And judged. And oddly enough, that comforts me. The big, black cyber abyss of "I don't know what to write about today" is scary. Sometimes, you need a much more successful and popular blog to hold your shaky little hand along the way.
Today's subject of interest? Fads. Trends. The ole bandwagon.
What I love about fads is that hating on them is just about as popular as submitting yourself to them.
i.e. "Oh my gosh, One Direction is sooooo cute!" versus "Oh my gosh, I hate that One Direction band." You've heard both of these statements. Frequently. And you may have even said both of these statements (Confession: I have. In reverse order, at that. And I'm a 27 years old adult woman. Dear God).
I am the poster child of both loving and hating on the trends.
So, let us now take a look back in "Candace's Love/ Hate Relationship With Fads" history book.
1991: Hermit crabs? Never had one.
1992: Obsessed with New Kids on the Block? Absolutely.
1993: Permed hair? Did it.
1994: Interested in Beanie Babies? No. I didn't get it. Fad denied!
1994: Leggings with stirrups paired with jingle bell-y sweatshirts? Yup. That happened.
1995: Pogs? Nope. Not into it. Lava lamps? Had one.
1996: Dressing like a Spice Girl and gesturing a peace sign for every photo taken of me? I mean, yes. That occurred.
1996: Esteemed advocate of D.A.R.E? Si.
1997: Into the yin-yang symbol? Totes. WWJD Bracelet? Had about twelve.
1997: Perpetually distracted by my Tamagotchi that eventually died in a mound of its own poo due to general 11-year-old negligence? Affirmative.
1998: Obsessed with Britney Spears and *NSYNC and sooooo over the Spice Girls? Completely.
1999: Awkwardly in love with hearing "You've Got Mail!" every time I logged into AOL? So much.
2000: Body glitter and butterfly clips? Yeah, girl!
2001: Still obsessed with Britney Spears and *NSYNC? Don't judge.
2002: Old enough to desire an identity that went against the norm thus making me completely unpopular among cheerleaders, football players, and anyone else in school until I transferred to an arts school where my quirky fashion choices were embraced and accepted by all? Yes.
2004: Total thrift store addict because that's all that Urban Outfitters looks like anyway? 100%.
2004: One of the first colleges to be on Facebook? Ten years later and still going strong.
2005: Crocs? Lame and ugly. Gouchos? Lovin' it.
2006: College parties? Went. Didn't drink. May have carried around a red solo cup just to look cool.
2007: Just. Want. All. The. Harry. Potter? You've got that right.
2008: Wanting to be quirky, cute, and Indie like Ingrid Michaelson but still needing to outwardly hate on hipsters (who have replaced emo's who have replaced goths who have replaced androgynous David Bowie fans who have replaced... vampires? I don't know how I got here).
2009: Crazily into cupcakes? Yes.
2010: Can't stop watching Jersey Shore? Duh.
2011: Planning my perfect, homespun, Pinterest-inspired wedding? Correct.
2012: Totally aroused by Fifty Shades of Grey? Never read it.
2012: Hashtag: No Filter? Eff that. Filter my face all day long.
2013: Twerking, dubstep, Hunger games? I'll pass. Food blogging and food trucking and food photographing and being soooo into eating local? Well... Yes. God, that was an expensive phase.
2014: In love with sock buns, Zumba, Grumpy Cat, and Vine? Why yes. Yes, I am.
So, there you have it, kids. A remarkably (and unnecessarily) thorough rundown of my ongoing affair with the trends. And how's your day?
My darling husband gave me the perfect gift for Christmas this year. Seeing as how I'm now in my 27's and have refocused my attention onto old-people-things like de-cluttering the house and labeling things, a gift card to the Container Store was about as righteously awesome as my husband could get!
I had never been to this magical place before.
I, lover of tupperware, creative shelving, and color-coded tabbing, had. never. been. to. the. Container. Store.
Let me tell you, if it had a Greek restaurant attached to it and a rolling supply of Diet Coke, this would be my idea of Heaven.
Needless to say, one of my (many) purchases included spice containers... Which I then promptly labelled upon my arrival home. Because we can't drill anything into our apartment kitchen cabinets, I organized them with this magical fancy shmancy, TOTALLY affordable spice rack I scored from Amazon for just 8.99: Organizer Rack 20 Cabinet Door Spice Clips (White) (1"H x 1.5"W x 10"D).
What a beautiful year 2014 is in spite of its naivité. It has rained sporadically for the past 48 hours and I. AM. ALL. ABOUT. IT.
Little did you know that the girl who lives in the Sunshine State secretly hates sunshine and swoons over overcast anything with periodic drizzle and a totally taunting thunderstorm. Give me gray. Give me rain, Give me thunder claps that shake the building.
So, in essence: I'm happy. I'm working. I'm still in the holiday spirit. And I'm determined to capture life on this wee little blog. Without further ado, here's what I love right now:
// New Year's Eve //
My husband and I were fortunate enough to get PAID on New Year's Eve. All I can say is: Miss Shanda Leer and Salvatore the Sommelier had a glorious evening atop Disney's Contemporary Resort.
// My Shoebox //
A glorious app that continuously stores your iPhone photos without omitting the ones you delete. Download that shiz: My Shoebox.
// Burrito Red Sauce //
Be it within an "authentic" Mexican restaurant or at- dare I say- Taco Bell, you should ask for this. It's often free of charge and tastes good on basically everything,
// Publix Digital Coupons //
C'mon. You can literally just click on these on your phone and voila! No scissors. No anything. Just do it.
// Home Free //
I meeeeean..... Just watch this mess and tell me you're not impressed by that ridiculous low note in the end.
I'm a believer in the idea that every new year should feel like a clean slate.
Granted, I tend to get a little clean-slate-happy regardless of what time of year it is. Perhaps it's every month. Or birthday. Or week. Or every third Wednesday of every other month. Or every Full Moon. Regardless, I love the feeling of starting anew (hence my avid obsession with rearranging the furniture; my poor husband never knows what to expect upon his arrival home after work).
Thusly, I have spent the last eight hours scouring our apartment; cleaning to the max, kids.
The reason you can know that this is on the border of excessive is that we live in a small one bedroom apartment. So, I was meticulous... to say the least.
I am, by no means, any sort of Mary Poppins, Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker, Sandra Lee, insert other females publicly recognized for their practical perfection in every other way. But, I do enjoy organizing.
Today's little project? A Pinterest find from long ago: Silverware Organizer turned Jewelry McAwesome Organizer.
This was super de-duper easy, quick, cheap, and cute. All you'll need is a couple screws, a screw gun, a hammer, and however many nails to accommodate your jewelry needs. I screwed the silverware bin directly into the wall and began hammering in the nails from there. Easy as pie and a great easy-access way to keep up with your bling.